How to build a healthy and honest relationship? Expert offers insights

How to build a healthy and honest relationship? Expert offers insights
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Love is one of the most beautiful feelings in the world. It makes us want to smile throughout the day, check how we are looking, and want to be with the person we are in love with throughout. It also comes with its own challenges – of having to choose the same person every day, realising that they come with their own set of inhibitions, traumas and unresolved issues. Love is all about choosing an imperfect person and climbing over all of their imperfections to see how perfect they can be for us. And most importantly, how perfect we can be around them.

However, love often comes with the rush of biochemical reactions – Oxytocin, dopamine and serotonin are released from the brain and that makes us feel very happy. Psychologist Nicole LePera spoke of the chemical release from the brain when we fall in love and what it does to us in her recent post. “We are high on love which creates the silly/fun behaviors like not being able to stop smiling. And the obsessive desire to connect with that person. Our body is building a bond through powerful love hormones.”

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But what happens when the chemicals run out? Nicole LePera pointed out that after a certain period of time, we don’t have the support of the biochemicals to feel great in love. We often start feeling that the other person doesn’t make us feel as good as they did before, and we feel like giving up on the relationship. That’s exactly when it takes a lot of work from our end to understand the other person and also ourselves.

“Authentic love is not a feeling, it is an action. It is a choice. Building a relationship is challenging and it takes work,” wrote Nicole. She further added that in order to have an honest, open and an authentic relationship, we need to start communicating, be unapologetically vulnerable, address the issues that hold us back, and most importantly, practise honesty, forgiveness and compassion. “Love is not a feeling, it is a practice. A vulnerable practice so many of us fear,” she wrapped her post.


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