Dating tips: Importance of courtship and why men need to woo a woman they fancy

Courting is the exciting part of an early stage in dating – it is when the guy is interested and makes the effort in pursing a woman he likes and his gestures show her that he wants to get to know her. Nothing speaks louder than actions but some may however feel that wooing is rather outdated and that we are equal so why should a man woo a woman. 

True, relationships are one of the most meaningful and important aspect of life and courting is essentially dating but with stricter and well-defined boundaries. It is also much less exclusive than dating, as two friends who are considering something more but unlike dating, courting always has marriage in mind and you’re not just doing this for fun but you are seriously considering a life partner.

Is courting more beneficial than dating? Relationship experts say that’s hard to answer but assert it’s definitely not for everyone. However, you would be less likely to have your heart shattered if the relationship doesn’t work out since before you take a plunge into a marriage or a long-term relationship, it is important to take some time to get to know the person you’re going to spend the rest of your life with and a considerably important part of a long-term relationship.

In an interview with HT Lifestyle, Karina Calver, relationship expert and founder of Hukam Healing, highlighted 3 reasons why men need to woo a woman they fancy and how by doing so it creates an energetic balance:

1. Men are by default hunters – Men like to go after what they want. It may seem like a challenge to them on a superficial level but when they are putting the effort in earning something, there is a likelihood that they will value it so much more.

2. It makes men feel manly – It allows men to be in their masculine (alpha) state by showing a woman he wants her. When a man is exhibiting their innate manly quality it gives her the space to be in her feminine element. Most men are attracted to a feminine girl and most women are drawn to masculine type of men. Hence, a man wooing a woman brings that out even more.

3. Men feel valued – When men are in charge or feel in charge in the relationship or even during the courtship period, it makes them feel valued. Their sense of self is reinforced. Men are wired to take care of their tribe. So when a woman feels that she can do it all on her own and doesn’t need a man, he feels emasculated. Little things like letting him drive the both of you when you’re out or letting him drop you home after a date or letting him ask you out on the 2nd or 3rd date are things men who are in touch with their masculine side will want to do for the woman they fancy. 

Karina Calver advised, “If you’re a woman who is dating a man, let him be the driver in the pursuit of the relationship or courtship. If a man is not putting the effort, then he might not be someone you would want to get to know. If you allow a man to put minimum effort, the chances are, he won’t put much later on. How he initiates early on shows whether he is comfortable being in the driver’s seat. If you’re a feminine woman, despite being a ladyboss and you know how to kick back and be in your graceful, elegant space, you’d be drawn to a man who is confident and in charge. It is that perfect energy balance (yin and yang) that creates attraction and so much more.”

Daman R Philip, Relationship coach and Founder and CEO of The Life Experts, opined, “In most situations, it’s the man who woos the woman but it doesn’t necessarily need to be the norm. Often a man too needs to be wooed by a woman too. This is the best time to spend quality time with each, get to know each others’ likes and dislikes, values and core beliefs. It’s a period to discuss boundaries in the relationship, test compatibility and whether they are a good fit for each other. It’s moments in the relationship where you share your past and present without any filters. It makes it easier to ensure that the other person has the same goals in life and wants the same thing in a relationship/marriage.”

He added, “Absence of the courtship period, a rushed alliance set by parents and elders of the family – an arranged set-up – where little time is spent getting to know each other more often than not results in an unwanted situation – break-ups, broken homes, single parents and if children are unfortunately in the mix this could not only be the introduction of an unhealthy relationship model to them but a mentally and emotionally broken future for these children. Courtship has certain benefits that unmarried couples should carefully consider. If done right, it is a time for couples to set the right foundation for their future union.”