How to minimise effects of family tension on children? Expert shares tips

Family tension can have long lasting emotional effects on children. Children who are born and brought up in homes which is dipped in tension, conflict, anxiety and trauma, grow up to be individuals with anxiety, depression, and conduct issues. This further affects the wellbeing of the individual, often leading to impacts in their personal and professional relationships. In an interview with HT Lifestyle, K. Vaishnavi, Counseling Psychologist, Medall Mind said, “Family tension can be correlated with stress, low self-esteem, personality disorders, suicide, or substance use/abuse. It prevents the children from becoming fulfilling and well-adjusted adults and also affects their growth mindset.”

Hence, it is important to manifest healthy habits and patterns in relationships, even during family tension in order to bestow the children with models to practice in their own relationships. K. Vaishnavi further noted down a few practices that can help in minimising emotional effects of such family tension in children and maintain healthy dynamics within the family.

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Avoid conflict in front of children: Conflict with spouse is natural, but when it is done in front of children, it creates a scenario of tension. This further affects the children.

Resolve in the children’s presence: In case the conflict has been done in front of the children, try resolving the same in their presence as well, so that they know that the tension is over.

Honest communication: Try to take the children’s help in resolving conflict. That way, they feel that the communication with them is nurturing and honest.

Mindful parenting: Take a non-judgmental approach and focus on the emotions that you display in communications with your children. Try to avoid showing extreme intense emotions such as anger. Manifesting positive discipline is very important as well.

Don’t blame your child for the tension: Ensure that the children, in no way, thinks themselves responsible for the family tension. It is important to take accountability for the tension and keep assuring them about the emotions that they feel.